3 years ago, at 278 Dolores, my roommate Dimi casually mentioned - "Michael from Berkeley is visiting tonight" Me: "Who Michael?" Dimi: "Michael Gutensohn, the VR/RV guy from Berkeley (yes, he lived out of an RV which became his personality at Berkeley) I join them for a dinner after. Dimi and his friend are high af. Michael and I start talking about his failing dates at Pakwan (still our go-to Indian/Pakistani restaurant). We hugged goodbye, exchanged numbers and I thought, This was nice! I should hang out more with my Berkeley crew." Michael remembers it differently - "It was a lingering hug".

We start texting. After a few days, he said - "I have 2 tickets to the ‘So Far Sounds’ concert." Being the stingy nerd I am, I had to go online to check how expensive it was. Turns out it was not only inexpensive but had plenty of tickets available. Dimi really wanted to come along. I asked him to sit this one out. This was a vibe check pre-date - he thought I dressed up like Steve Jobs (in my defense, it was just another work day and I knew I wouldn't go wrong with my black top and blue jeans).

A few days in, I am packing my bags for my New York trip and I get a text - "Would you like to go out sometime? Totally ok if you prefer to be friends. I'd be kicking myself for not asking." "Not against it" "Sick. How's next Friday?" "I'm flying out to NYC tomorrow morning for a week. Want to get a drink today?" "I just ran a 10K marathon without sunscreen. So, if you don't mind seeing a red tomato, let's do it"

He knew I was a nerd but this date sealed it. I proposed we go on a hike for our next date. Little did he know that I had woken up at 7.30 in the morning to hand draw a map of 15 hiking spots (with hotpot breaks in between). He was now intimidated. He calls me up the next day - “So, I don’t know what people do after the 3rd date and I am not very good at organizing stuff” We all know that now. Luckily he got COVID that week, which gave him time to plan.

Michael is down with covid, which means a week of quarantine. We're texting every day, except one of these days, he stopped texting. I didn't want to be overbearing and I was overthinking at this point ("I'm sure he wants to have his me time", "Ah, is this one of those SF dating things where he's just going to ghost me"). I text him casually in the evening, and his response pretty much defined his personality "Ah sorry I forgot to respond earlier. I fainted.” "You what?!" "Yeah my doctor gave me these sleeping pills and said I could take up to 4, so I took 4. That plus covid knocked me out quicker than I expected" (Who is this guy) at this point, I am worried and guilt-ridden that I didn't check up on him sooner. I insist on buying some comfort food and leaving it by his door.

Michael hasn’t seen a human in 14 days. He is desperate to meet. We meet at the Dolores park. For the first time, we’re talking about our beliefs on everything from housing to politics to abortion. I am starting to like this. Not surprisingly, I am down with covid right after. Michael invites me for some comfort food he’d cook for me. We’re heading to Safeway for some grocery shopping. We’re talking about how we’re not picky people and we like that we’re both chill. We are at the mushroom aisle. Michael - “Pick whatever you’d like”. I pick the cheapest white mushrooms. Michael - “Nonono. Not those.” He then spent far too much time comparing tomatoes until I finally grab the cheapest one and say “come on let’s go, a tomato is a tomato” I’ve never seen him look so offended. He put it back and grabbed the fancy tomatoes, still on the vine. He cooked a pretty fancy Thai curry meal with original Thai ingredients. I guess a tomato is not just a tomato.

Him: “I think I wanna talk about getting more serious” 

Me: “We should talk about it face to face. I have some friends in town, wanna go dancing with us?” Him: “I’m down” Me: “lol are you sure? I know it’s not your thing so it’s ok to say no.” 

Him: “Nah I’m coming.”
 We all met up and then walked over to the DNA Lounge. We were out of place among the Gen Z, but we managed to have some fun. As we are leaving the place, I realize I’ve lost my wallet and all the 50 cards across Singapore, India and the US. We spent the entire night canceling each card (and I took breaks to throw up without letting him know that I was doing that).

“Nono, I knew” - Michael The next day we had the talk - he was ready to make it official. I had a list of questions, one of them being - “I am vegetarian and don’t intend to change.” Michael - “That’s the big thing you wanted to talk about? I cook great vegan food.” He wasn’t lying.

My parents visit in December that year. My dad and Michael get along pretty quickly. He’s enjoying Michael’s dad jokes (makes sense). My mom’s a bit shy, and yet to open up in having full conversations in English. Michael really wants to get along with her. He has gifted her a book, tried to have small talks. It’s still cold. At some point, Michael’s talking about one of his family trips and how he farted in the car and locked all the windows. It took us all a second to shift our attention to Mom. She is losing her mind laughing away at the story. In that moment, Michael is like - “How did I not realize that the only common language across all cultures is the language of FARTS”. It got real during his India trip but I’ll spare you those stories.

A couple of years pass by, and it’s time for Michael’s first-ever India trip. I'm pretty excited but mostly stressed. The elephant in the room - “When you are you both getting married?” Michael hasn’t made up his mind. I may have floated the idea of canceling the trip a few times. The trip starts with lots of rich dinners, light conversations, and a nice family trip to Nainital. We’re walking down the hill in Nainital. My dad has sprinted away in front of us and we’re hastily trying to catch up with him and his stress levels. “Bb, do you want to get married?” Me: “What?” (I am not sure where this is coming from, is it a passing thought? Anyway, I am busy playing catch up in those crowded streets) “Let’s talk about it another time” He brings up 3 times in the next 24 hours. Me: “What changed?” Michael: “I really like your family” I felt a lot of mixed emotions - I am excited, a bit annoyed that I wasn’t good enough but mostly relieved. Me - “Alright, let me tell you what happens if we share this with my family on this trip. They may want us to get married tomorrow.”

We announced this to everyone the next morning, and we were getting engaged the same evening. My prediction was on point. We’re still processing this wild journey, but we’re all in for the next chapter: a 7-paneer wedding surrounded by family and friends. Now that’s the real story! 🧀💍

Before we head to the grand wedding in India, we had a little celebration in Merrit Island, our style - bnb, beach and close family

It was a special moment for us to have both our families celebrate our special moment together #feelingLucky